Afraid to Say No?


People-pleasing, often viewed as kind, thoughtful behaviour, generally causes enormous difficulties for us, particularly in relationships and in love. To grow better able to manage disappointing others, and to stop fearing possible consequences when we do so is healthier both for us and those around us too. So, what can we do about it?

1. Accept that not every one is going to like you - and that is okay. What goes on for others may have nothing to do with you.

2. Say 'no' in a way that works for you - and stick to it. You can do it with a smile!

3. It will be uncomfortable at first - probably you will feel guilty. Stick with it - it takes time to make it a habit.

4. Set some boundaries - maybe 5? These are about looking after you! If someone is asking for something that challenges your boundaries, then say no, it doesn't work for you. You could offer an alternative that does?

5. Let go those people who take advantage of you. If they can't accept your boundaries and/or are not respectful then it is okay to let them go or, if a family member, to step back and create a bit more distance between you.

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