One of the most vital of all life skills is soothing; the art of calming oneself down, restoring perspective and remembering to be kind to oneself. Too often, because we were never properly soothed by others as children, we have no idea how to soothe ourselves as adults. We need to learn the significance of soothing. Here the School of Life guides us in how to soothe ourselves and, in turn, others. FURTHER READING “It’s the middle of the night, let’s imagine, and we’ve been on the earth for about three months. A lot is still very unclear. We are profoundly helpless, barely able to move our own head and utterly at the mercy of others. The sources of our suffering and joy lie far outside our understanding. Hugely powerful needs pass through us at regular intervals and we have no way of making sense of them to ourselves – let alone of communicating them reliably to others…” On Soothing - The School of Life

Missing someone hurts. It is normal but why does it hurt so much? Are we weak to feel this or is it a strength? The School of Life explains that missing someone that we’re close to – because they’ve had to go to another country, or are up in the north on a course, or went on a hiking trip with their friends – is such an unpleasant emotion and it feels peculiar to suggest that it is also, at a profound level, an extraordinary achievement and an important marker of emotional maturity. It is in no way simple for an archetypal adult to be able to miss anyone and we are often, almost without knowing it, engaged in complex manoeuvres to ensure that we resolutely won’t…

Sadly I so often hear adults say they are not creative, they can't draw or they can't write. I try to encourage having a go, it's more about the process than the outcome and how relaxing it can be. So, meet Roger. Roger was super-creative but he had a major secret. Until one day..... In his first animated film, best-selling author Danny Gregory tells the story of how an artist overcame his block — and changed his life forever. Create...it's good for you. If you liked this story, please share it with someone who could use it. This story began as one of Danny's essays. Subscribe for free at dannysessays.com and get more stories like this every Friday. 00:00 Meet Roger 01:10 Meet Zoe 01:45 The Garden 02:26 The Magic Marker 03:50 Progress 04:43 The Drawing Life 05:15 Uh-oh 05:38 Meet Danny

Henri Matisse once said that creativity takes courage so what does that mean? How does creative courage affect what artists and other people do? When beginning a new project, we face a decision how to approach the work. Is attempting to be creative worth it? Or are the costs too high? What risk does one dare to take? Do I feel brave? Often we default to common beliefs and practices that squash our creative spirit. We frequently allow the myth that creative ideas spring from a bolt of lightning with no forewarning or preparation to dominate. Similarly, we may seldom take creative chances because of an innate fear of failure, which could mean financial loss or occupational termination. Or we continually participate in brainstorming sessions in a quest for “the ultimate solution” only to discover that we’ve wasted time and achieved little progress. This might be our big mistake - believing that a creative idea must be a big idea - on par with humans landing on the moon, building the Pyramids, or painting the Sistine Chapel. Yes, these are big creative events, but true creativity may be founded on the principle of little glimmers; the small golden nuggets we find when we see creativity as “looking for the small, not just the big" - discovering a synonym for “happy” in the story we’re writing, mixing three new colours together for the sky in a landscape painting we’re working on or buying a scarf, not because it’s cool, but because it has pictures of dogs on it. Taking a new route to work, discovering that a paper clip can be used to repair a broken toy or making a “snow-pig” rather than a snowman (or snowwoman) can be viewed as creative acts. Even using a brand-new spice in your favourite recipe simply because you fancy it...is creative! A tiny creative act every day puts us in a growth mindset and begins to challenge those beliefs that may have negatively influenced our thinking for so long. We move away from the fixed mindset and into new realms of creative expression. Like the apple, we can all profit from one a day.

In today's fast-paced world, stress has become a common companion for many. We often find ourselves overwhelmed by the demands of daily life, juggling work, relationships and personal well-being. But what if I told you that all stress begins with one negative thought? Managing negative thoughts can be done. Understanding the Power of Thoughts Our thoughts have a profound impact on our emotions and actions. When we dwell on negative thoughts, it can lead to a downward spiral of stress and anxiety. Learning to manage and reframe these negative thoughts is key to maintaining a healthy and balanced mindset. Strategies for Negative Thought Management Take a moment to reflect on your thought patterns. Are there recurring themes that lead to stress? Recognising these patterns is the first step towards change. When a negative thought arises, challenge its validity. Ask yourself if there is evidence to support this thought or if there could be an alternative, more positive perspective. Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation, can help you stay present and break free from negative thought cycles. Focusing on the positive aspects of your life can shift your perspective and reduce the impact of negative thoughts. User Insights "All stress begins with one negative thought." This simple yet profound statement highlights the importance of our thought patterns in managing stress effectively. Conclusion By implementing these strategies and taking proactive steps to manage negative thoughts, you can cultivate a mindset that is resilient to stress. Remember, you have the power to shape your thoughts and, in turn, shape your reality. SEO Keywords: negative thought management Visit Cosmos Counselling in Liphook or more resources on stress management and well-being.

The School of Life has created another super short film all about our capacity to think - positive, neutral and negative thoughts as well as irrational and compulsive. It is estimated that some 70,000 separate thoughts hurry through our consciousness from the moment we wake up to the time we slip into sleep. To help us understand those thoughts The School of Life have produced five questions to direct our minds to areas which we tend to neglect and from where trouble can most intensely arise when we do so. Reflections before bed may just be a helpful beginning. FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects in our articles, here: https://9qq0.short.gy/okh44o “Our minds are some of the busiest places in the known universe. It is estimated that, under a deceptively calm exterior, some 70,000 separate thoughts hurry through consciousness from the moment we wake up to the time we slip into sleep – some of these elaborate and sequential, many more fragmentary and sensory by nature. What these many thoughts have in common is that we seldom do them any kind of justice. The river of ideas and feelings is relentless, turbulent and chaotic. In a typical minute, we might briefly register that we are annoyed with a friend, then our minds are directed to a worry about a tax return, which is then quickly supplanted by the sighting of a raven, which makes us think of our grandmother, who evokes a trip we once took to Greece, which ushers in thoughts of some lip balm we need to purchase, which is then supplanted by a registering of a pain in our left knee, which is succeeded by a memory of a friend we lost touch with after university, which cedes to a recurring reflection on what kind of lamp we might invest in for the living room. And we might here still only be at the thirty second mark of what we casually call ‘thinking’ or just ‘gazing out of the window’…”

Within mental health and well-being, emotional resilience stands as a powerful shield that enables us to navigate through life's adversities with grace and strength. At Cosmos Counselling , I understand the significance of fostering emotional resilience so we can lead a fulfilling life despite the inevitable obstacles that come our way. Let's delve into the essence of emotional resilience and its transformative impact on our lives... Understanding Emotional Resilience Emotional resilience signifies our ability to adapt to stress, trauma and adversity without succumbing to despair. It is not about avoiding challenges but rather managing them with a realistic mindset and determination. Optimism: Seeing setbacks as temporary and maintaining a hopeful outlook. Adaptability: Embracing change and being flexible in the face of adversity. Self-Compassion: Treating oneself with kindness and understanding during tough times. Purpose: Finding meaning and motivation in challenges, leading to personal growth. The Journey Towards Emotional Resilience Cultivating emotional resilience is a path that requires self-reflection, practice, and support from others. It involves the development of healthy coping mechanisms, emotional regulation skills and a nurturing environment that fosters growth. Counselling and psychotherapy offers a safe space for individuals to explore their emotions, build resilience and unlock their inner strength. Therapy sessions aim to empower individuals to embrace challenges and realise they can be opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Embracing Resilience in Daily Life Mindfulness Practices: Engage in mindfulness meditation to stay present and reduce stress. Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Develop healthy ways to cope with stress, such as exercise or creative outlets. Seeking Support: Reach out to friends, family or professionals for guidance and encouragement. Self-Care Rituals: Prioritise self-care activities that rejuvenate your mind, body and spirit. The Triumph of Resilience To conclude, emotional resilience helps us navigate life's challenges. By embracing resilience, we not only overcome such difficulties but may also emerge stronger, wiser and more compassionate towards ourselves and others. Remember, resilience is not the absence of hardships but the courage to face them. User Insights: The Power of Emotional Resilience Site Activity Conclusion: The data gathered from our site activity reveals a growing interest in topics related to emotional well-being and resilience among our visitors, showcasing a genuine desire for personal growth and self-improvement. The blog post explores the profound impact of emotional resilience in conquering life's challenges and highlights the transformative journey towards holistic well-being. Through introspection, support and proactive steps, individuals can harness the power of resilience to thrive in the face of adversity. Counselling can assist in this journey if needed.

Have a listen to Penny Mallory and discover what mental toughness is and how it could transform your life. She asks us to imagine what would happen if we developed our mental toughness? Against all the odds, Penny Mallory made her childhood dream come true when she became the first woman in the world to compete in a World Rally Car for Ford in the World Rally Championship. She remains the only woman to have achieved this. Not bad considering she was teenage runaway and spent 3 years homeless in London. Penny attributes her success to having learned how to build and harness 'Mental Toughness'. She now teaches her Mental Toughness formula to help people develop confidence, resilience, commitment, determination and focus so that they can build powerful, successful teams and organisations. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community.

The BBC reported back in October 2023 that there is growing evidence that simple, everyday changes to our lives can alter our brains and change how they work.  It seems meditation and exercise together can boost brain plasticity. Changing your mind may just be a possibility! So how do we keep our brains healthy?   BBC journalist Melissa Hogenboom explores the latest scientific research and has her own brain scanned and analysed, with intriguing results. Watch part two of Brain Hacks here: https://www.bbc.com/reel/playlist/bra...

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. In his famous quote, Albert Einstein has thought-provoking insight into our process of solving problems. He wonders if the thinking that led us towards our challenges is highly unlikely to be effective in resolving them. His words emphasise the necessity for a shift in mindset, a change in our current thinking, examining things from new perspectives to tackle our problems more effectively. Einstein's words encourage us to recognise the limitations of our current thinking and embrace the possibility of exploring different pathways. This quote embodies the essence of innovation and progress – that successful solutions are often found beyond the boundaries of familiar thinking. To fully understand the significance of the quote, we can dive into the world of philosophy and explore the concept of paradigm shifts. Often attributed to Thomas Kuhn, a philosopher of science, paradigm shifts refer to major changes in the way we understand our world. They happen when the model or framework of thinking of the day, no longer adequately explains new observations or problems. When we are facing challenges, either on a global or individual scale, it is crucial to understand and accept the limitations of our existing thinking and be open to exploring alternative approaches. Einstein's words encourage us to stretch and push our comfort zones, question current conventions, and create the conditions for new solutions that could shape a better future.

So what does this mean? According to Sigmund Freud, the psyche is divided into three parts: the id, the ego, and the superego. The id is the unconscious part of the psyche that seeks pleasure and immediate gratification. The superego is the part of the psyche that contains our values and morals and the ego is the conscious part of the psyche that mediates between the id and the superego. The phrase “the ego is not master in its own house” refers to the idea that although the ego is responsible for most of our conscious thoughts and actions, it is still driven by unconscious desires from the id. The ego tries to balance these desires with the values and morals of the superego, but it is not always successful. Therefore, it is important to understand our unconscious desires and how they influence our behaviour.

According to Psychology Today, people who struggle to apologise are likely to have a weak sense of self and need to protect their self-image. Instead of apologising, they avoid responsibility by doubling down on their original claims or blaming others. Another article on TED Ideas suggests that such people often have such deep feelings of low self-worth that their fragile egos cannot absorb the shock of admitting they were wrong. So their defense mechanisms kick in — at times, unconsciously — and they may externalise any blame and even dispute basic facts to ward off the threat of having to lower themselves by offering an apology. It’s important to note that even the most conscientious among us occasionally fails to apologise. When this happens, it’s usually for one of two reasons: We don’t care enough about the other person or the relationship to take on the emotional discomfort of owning our mistake and apologising for it; or we believe our apology won’t matter. To conclude, apologizsng can be difficult for many reasons, but it’s important to recognise the value of taking responsibility for our actions and making amends when necessary. Go on, repair that rupture. Your relationship will thank you.