Sadly I so often hear adults say they are not creative, they can't draw or they can't write. I try to encourage having a go, it's more about the process than the outcome and how relaxing it can be. So, meet Roger. Roger was super-creative but he had a major secret. Until one day..... In his first animated film, best-selling author Danny Gregory tells the story of how an artist overcame his block — and changed his life forever. Create...it's good for you. If you liked this story, please share it with someone who could use it. This story began as one of Danny's essays. Subscribe for free at dannysessays.com and get more stories like this every Friday. 00:00  Meet Roger 01:10  Meet Zoe 01:45  The Garden 02:26  The Magic Marker 03:50  Progress 04:43  The Drawing Life 05:15  Uh-oh 05:38  Meet Danny

Henri Matisse once said that creativity takes courage so what does that mean? How does creative courage affect what artists and other people do? When beginning a new project, we face a decision how to approach the work. Is attempting to be creative worth it? Or are the costs too high? What risk does one dare to take? Do I feel brave? Often we default to common beliefs and practices that squash our creative spirit. We frequently allow the myth that creative ideas spring from a bolt of lightning with no forewarning or preparation to dominate. Similarly, we may seldom take creative chances because of an innate fear of failure, which could mean financial loss or occupational termination. Or we continually participate in brainstorming sessions in a quest for “the ultimate solution” only to discover that we’ve wasted time and achieved little progress. This might be our big mistake - believing that a creative idea must be a big idea - on par with humans landing on the moon, building the Pyramids, or painting the Sistine Chapel. Yes, these are big creative events, but true creativity may be founded on the principle of little glimmers; the small golden nuggets we find when we see creativity as “looking for the small, not just the big" - discovering a synonym for “happy” in the story we’re writing, mixing three new colours together for the sky in a landscape painting we’re working on or buying a scarf, not because it’s cool, but because it has pictures of dogs on it. Taking a new route to work, discovering that a paper clip can be used to repair a broken toy or making a “snow-pig” rather than a snowman (or snowwoman) can be viewed as creative acts. Even using a brand-new spice in your favourite recipe simply because you fancy it...is creative! A tiny creative act every day puts us in a growth mindset and begins to challenge those beliefs that may have negatively influenced our thinking for so long. We move away from the fixed mindset and into new realms of creative expression. Like the apple, we can all profit from one a day.

Missing someone hurts. It is normal but why does it hurt so much? Are we weak to feel this or is it a strength? The School of Life explains that missing someone that we’re close to – because they’ve had to go to another country, or are up in the north on a course, or went on a hiking trip with their friends – is such an unpleasant emotion and it feels peculiar to suggest that it is also, at a profound level, an extraordinary achievement and an important marker of emotional maturity. It is in no way simple for an archetypal adult to be able to miss anyone and we are often, almost without knowing it, engaged in complex manoeuvres to ensure that we resolutely won’t…

One of the most vital of all life skills is self soothing; the art of calming oneself down, restoring perspective and remembering to be kind to oneself. Too often, because we were never properly soothed by others as children, we have no idea how to soothe ourselves as adults. We need to learn the significance of soothing. Here the School of Life guides us in how to soothe ourselves and, in turn, others. FURTHER READING “It’s the middle of the night, let’s imagine, and we’ve been on the earth for about three months. A lot is still very unclear. We are profoundly helpless, barely able to move our own head and utterly at the mercy of others. The sources of our suffering and joy lie far outside our understanding. Hugely powerful needs pass through us at regular intervals and we have no way of making sense of them to ourselves – let alone of communicating them reliably to others…” On Soothing - The School of Life

Man looking out of window at various buildings. In today's fast-paced world, it's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of constant activity, leading to a pervasive sense of exhaustion. We often wear our busyness like a badge of honour, believing that the more tasks we juggle, the more successful and fulfilled we must be. But what if this obsession with productivity is actually hindering our well-being rather than enhancing it? The Illusion of Productivity The constant need to feel busy can trap us in a cycle of fatigue and burnout. We equate being busy with being valuable, but in reality, this mindset can lead to a decline in mental and physical health. It's crucial to understand that true productivity isn't about how much we can cram into a day but rather how effectively we can manage our time and energy. Combatting the Exhaustion Epidemic 1. Prioritise Self-Care Embracing self-care practices is not a luxury but a necessity. Make time for activities that rejuvenate your mind and body, whether it's meditation, exercise or simply unplugging from technology. Remember, taking care of yourself is crucial for sustained productivity. 2. Practice Mindfulness The practice of mindfulness allows us to be fully present in the moment, reducing stress and promoting mental clarity. By focusing on the task at hand without distractions, we can accomplish more in less time while fostering a sense of calm. 3. Set Boundaries Learn to say no to tasks that don't align with your priorities. Setting boundaries is essential for preserving your energy and preventing overload. Remember, it's okay to decline opportunities that will only contribute to your sense of busyness. 4. Delegate and Collaborate Don't be afraid to ask for help when needed. Delegate tasks that can be handled by others and collaborate with colleagues to lighten your workload. Recognize that true efficiency often involves teamwork rather than sole responsibility. Breaking Free from the Cult of Busy It's time to challenge the pervasive narrative that equates busyness with worth. By re-evaluating our relationship with productivity and embracing a more balanced approach to life, we can break free from the shackles of exhaustion and reclaim our well-being. Let's strive not to glorify the hustle but to prioritize our health and happiness above all else. Remember, it's not about being constantly busy but about being purposeful in our actions and intentional in our pursuit of a fulfilling life. So, take a moment to breathe, to rest, and to reflect. Uncover the myth of exhaustion, break free from the cult of busy, and embrace a life that's truly enriching and sustainable. In the end, it's not about how much we do but how well we do it that truly matters. Let's redefine our relationship with busyness and choose vitality over exhaustion, purpose over perpetual motion.

People with their hands in the air. The summer months brings various activities with other people. Some with old friends and others rich with the possibility of making new friendships. In the journey of self-discovery and growth, there exists a powerful and invaluable force that often goes unrecognised but plays a vital role in our well-being - friendship. For all of us, the significance of fostering and nurturing friendships cannot be understated. Understanding the Essence of Friendship Friendship is not merely a bond between individuals; it is a cornerstone of emotional support and companionship. Good friends are like beacons in the stormy seas of life, providing solace, understanding and acceptance in times of joy and sorrow. During therapy, we can delve deep into our personal struggles and triumphs, but the impact of genuine friendships outside these walls can be equally profound. The Impact on Mental Well-being Research has shown that strong social connections can have a direct positive impact on our mental health. Engaging in meaningful friendships can reduce feelings of loneliness, improve self-esteem and serve as a buffer against stress and anxiety. Maintaining and nurturing our friendships can complement any professional support we receive and enhance our overall emotional wellness. Nurturing Friendships in the Digital Age In today's digital landscape, the definition of friendship has evolved. Social media platforms offer a convenient way to stay connected, but the quality of these interactions can often pale in comparison to face-to-face connections. It is essential to grow authentic relationships that go beyond virtual likes and comments. Engaging in meaningful conversations, sharing experiences and fostering trust are the pillars of lasting friendships that can enrich our lives. The Reciprocity of Friendship Reciprocity is essential in a healthy friendship which makes it very different to personal therapy. Being a good friend entails offering support, empathy, and understanding but also being willing to receive these gifts in return. It is crucial to understand the delicate balance of giving and receiving, and friendships provide a safe space to practice this. Conclusion: Embracing the Gift of Friendship As we navigate the complexities of our inner worlds, we cannot overlook the profound impact of friendship on our emotional well-being. Through the therapeutic relationship, we can explore growth and healing, and meaningful friendships can be a powerful complement to professional support. Let us cherish and nurture these connections that enrich our lives and remind us that we are never alone on this journey of self-discovery. After all, no man is an island. We all need each other. In conclusion, as we reflect on the value of friendship in our lives, let us embrace the gift of companionship, support and understanding that true friendships offer. Remember, in the tapestry of life, friends are the colourful threads that weave a personal beautiful story of resilience, love and connection.

None of us are going to get out of here alive. If we are lucky, we will live long and healthy lives. What can help us to achieve this? What we do know is having a purpose in life can help people maintain physical function and independence as they age. According to researchers from Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, older adults who reported having goals for the future and a sense of meaning had better grip strength and walking speed than those who didn't. The reason why having a sense of purpose helps healthy aging isn't fully understood yet but it may be that those who have it take better care of their health, have better impulse control and engage in healthier activities than those who don't.

Going back into studying again - as a supervisor , this time - those imposter feelings were once more triggered. Looking around at my highly qualified and experienced colleagues, the self doubt began to appear. Despite recent comments that says, “ stop telling women they have imposter syndrome ” Sheaba Chacko has found a Hidden Truth about imposter syndrome’s roots as she works through her own baggage and helps her clients resolve theirs. Imposter syndrome is the by-product of having to project “ The Representative Self ” what we believe is approved of by society at the expense of rejecting “ The True Self. ” So instead of leaving a legacy, this duplicitous living lends to a litany of physical and mental health struggles. Sheaba's own personal experience with imposter syndrome has a universal message for all of us who live on the margins of mainstream life and has spent their lives trying to be what their culture defines as “normal”. Sheaba is a courageous speaker who knows how to inspire others with her own vulnerability. Known for making her own life choices, Sheaba rejected the typical South Indian career pathways of Engineering and Medicine to become a licensed professional counsellor. Despite the stigma associated with mental health, especially in communities of colour, she went on to open her private practice, Fearless Permission! This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organised by a local community.

I find this idea extremely interesting.  In a culture where the medical model is revered - the belief we need fixing because we are broken is a familiar goal.  Here, author and teacher Jeff Foster challenges the core myth of healing - that you should be healed 'by now'. Healing is not a destination, but a present-moment welcoming of all the 'guests' in awareness, a call to LOVE. Sadness, anger, fear, doubt, do not want to be healed, but held. What would happen if we learn to embrace and sit with our feelings? Filmed live at a meeting on 26th April 2015 in the Netherlands: http://www.lifewithoutacentre.com In a world that often rushes us from one emotion to the next, there is immense power in pausing to sit with our feelings. The idea that we need to fix ourselves constantly overlooks the beauty of simply being with our emotions until we are ready to accept them. It’s time to slow down, breathe, and explore the art of embracing our feelings fully. Understanding the Importance of Sitting with Our Feelings Emotions are an integral part of the human experience. They provide us with valuable insights into our inner world, guiding us through life's highs and lows. However, society's emphasis on instant solutions and quick fixes can hinder our ability to truly understand and process our emotions. By allowing ourselves to sit with our feelings, we create space for introspection and self-discovery. It is in these moments of stillness that we can unravel the complexities of our emotions, gaining a deeper understanding of ourselves in the process. The Healing Power of Acceptance Acceptance is a transformative force that emerges when we embrace our feelings without judgment or resistance. It is not about pushing away uncomfortable emotions but rather acknowledging them as a natural part of the human experience. When we accept our feelings, we grant ourselves the permission to be vulnerable and authentic. Through this vulnerability, we cultivate compassion towards ourselves and others, fostering deeper connections and emotional resilience. The Process of Sitting with Our Feelings Sitting with our feelings is an active process that requires patience and self-compassion. It involves acknowledging our emotions without trying to change or suppress them. Instead, we observe our feelings with curiosity and kindness, allowing them to surface and dissipate organically. During this process, it is essential to engage in self-care activities that nurture our emotional well-being. Whether it's journaling, meditating, or seeking support from loved ones, finding healthy outlets to express our feelings can facilitate the healing journey. Embracing Vulnerability and Growth Through the practice of sitting with our feelings, we embrace vulnerability as a strength rather than a weakness. Vulnerability opens the door to personal growth and self-empowerment, enabling us to confront our fears and insecurities with courage and grace. As we develop our sense of emotional resilience through sitting with our feelings, we create a greater capacity to navigate life's challenges with resilience and authenticity. Embracing our emotions becomes a transformative process that empowers us to lead more fulfilling and meaningful lives. In a culture that often prioritises productivity over self-reflection, the medical model over the therapeutic, the art of sitting with our feelings offers a powerful antidote to the noise and distractions of daily life. By embracing our emotions and accepting them with grace, we enter a world of self-discovery and growth that enriches our lives in profound ways. So, the next time you find yourself grappling with difficult emotions, remember that you don't need fixing – try sitting with your feelings until you are ready to accept them. Let this practice be your guide to greater emotional awareness, resilience and self-love.

Relationships always need good communication skills but should we be aware of other dynamics within a larger age-gap relationship such as where one person is 10 years older than the other? It is probably no surprise it appears it can work well or present particular challenges, depending on individual circumstances, power dynamics and emotional maturity. Here’s a brief list of the potential pros and cons: Pros of Age-Gap Relationships ✅ Emotional Maturity & Stability  – The older partner may bring emotional stability, life experience, and a clearer sense of direction in life, which can be reassuring for the younger partner. ✅ Financial Security  – If the older partner has an established career, financial security can reduce stress in the relationship and allow for more shared experiences. ✅ Different Perspectives & Growth  – The age gap can lead to valuable exchanges of wisdom and fresh perspectives, enriching both partners. ✅ Commitment Readiness  – The older partner might be more ready for commitment, family life, or settling down, aligning with the younger partner’s long-term goals. ✅ Balanced Dynamics  – If both partners respect and support each other’s autonomy, the age difference may foster a relationship where different strengths complement each other. Cons of Age-Gap Relationships ⚠️ Power Imbalance  – A significant age gap can create power dynamics where the older partner has more life experience, financial control, or decision-making authority, which may limit the younger partner’s autonomy. ⚠️ Different Life Stages  – The younger partner might still be exploring career paths, personal growth, or social experiences, while the older partner may be in a more settled phase, leading to mismatched priorities. ⚠️ Social & Family Judgment  – Friends and family may not be supportive of the relationship, which can create stress or isolation. ⚠️ Energy & Interests  – Differences in energy levels, hobbies, or social circles could lead to compatibility issues over time. ⚠️ Long-Term Challenges  – In later years, health differences may become a concern, especially if one partner retires or faces age-related issues while the other is still active. To sum up: A 10-year age gap can work well if both partners have mutual respect, shared values, and emotional maturity. However, power dynamics, life stage differences, and external pressures should be carefully navigated to ensure a healthy and equitable relationship. We're coming back to good, effective, reciprocal communication! What research is there on larger age gap relationships? Research on relationships with significant age differences reveals nuanced insights into their dynamics and long-term satisfaction: Marital Satisfaction and Age Gaps A study analysing 13 years of data from Australian households found that couples with larger age gaps often experience declines in marital satisfaction over time. Initially, men reported higher satisfaction when married to younger wives, but this contentment diminished after six to ten years. Couples with minimal age differences tended to navigate life decisions more harmoniously, enhancing compatibility. Resilience to Economic Challenges The same research indicated that couples with substantial age differences were less resilient to economic hardships. Financial downturns had a more pronounced negative impact on their marital satisfaction compared to couples of similar ages. This heightened vulnerability may stem from differing life priorities and financial strategies. Preferences for Younger Partners Recent studies challenge traditional assumptions about age preferences in relationships. Both men and women have shown a tendency to prefer younger partners, suggesting evolving dynamics in partner selection. However, societal norms and cultural factors continue to influence these preferences, often resulting in age gaps where men are older. Strategies for Success in Age-Gap Relationships Despite potential challenges, age-gap relationships can thrive with intentional effort: Shared Interests:  Cultivating common hobbies and activities can bridge generational divides. Open Communication:  Discussing values, expectations, and concerns openly fosters mutual understanding. Addressing Power Dynamics:  Being mindful of potential imbalances ensures both partners feel valued and respected. United Front Against Judgment:  Setting boundaries with unsupportive individuals and presenting a cohesive partnership can mitigate external pressures. In summary, while larger age gaps in relationships can present unique challenges, especially concerning long-term satisfaction and resilience to external stresses, these relationships can very much succeed with conscious effort, adaptability, and strong communication.

So many people bring sleep struggles into the therapeutic space. When sleep is lacking, many of us are desperate for help. Today there's a booming industry waiting to tell us all the ways not sleeping can ruin our health -- and to sell us expensive, fancy gadgets to help us finally doze off. Shedding light, however, on this depressing doomsday messaging, Dr. Jen Gunter explains why we shouldn't stress over sleep - and what to do instead. I always recommend no tossing and turning, grab a novel and have a read. Keep the light low and let your body relax. You are resting and that is good start. If you would like more on how your body works, tune in to her podcast, Body Stuff with Dr. Jen Gunter, from the TED Audio Collective.

The Dalai Lama said, ‘Sleep is the best meditation’ and I think most of us would agree it is one of our basic human needs. There is yet to be a substitute for sleep. There is no pill we can take or ways we can cheat our bodies into thinking we have caught up on lost sleep. We feel better after a good night's rest, we look more ‘alive’ and have more energy. Crucially, our bodies have had a chance to repair at a cellular level. Sleep has a huge part to play in the recovery from injury and the management of pain. Most of us have noticed that when we have had a few poor nights then our pain sensitivity and/or our ability to cope with our pain alters – stubbing your toe when you are tired seems to hurt so much more! A few tips to help with sleep: Light, noise and temperature are important as these have an effect on the chemical and hormonal levels in our bodies, such as, darkness stimulating melatonin which induces sleepiness. Avoid nicotine, alcohol and caffeine before bed as these stimulate our central nervous system, increasing our heart rate and adrenaline levels. Avoid checking social media or work emails before preparing to sleep. These will stimulate the mind, adrenaline and heart rate. Try to get into a routine of relaxation before trying to sleep – maybe a warm bath, meditation or reading a book. Try to sleep when you are tired - if you are rubbing your eyes and yawning this will be a good time to go to sleep. You will be tapping into your natural circadian rhythm. Stop checking your clock. f you wake up, try to avoid checking the time and worrying that you have to get up in two hours. Just roll over and trust your alarm will wake you for work. If you are tossing and turning, then get up. Have a glass of water, listen to some calming music or read. When you notice you are sleepy again, go back to bed. Keep the lights dim. Avoid high suspense/action tv before bed. Think about what this will do to your adrenaline levels. There are lots of different things you can try to help. Make a list of what works for you. Remember also, not everyone needs 8 hours of sleep every night to function well. Explore your own sleep requirement. There are lots of interesting articles about sleep online - these may be helpful: Home - The Sleep Council Sleep problems - Every Mind Matters - NHS (www.nhs.uk) Sleep Foundation | Better Sleep for a Better You