Having just joined a local gospel choir, I thought I'd share some information on just how good singing is for us. There's a wealth of research that proves the benefits of singing on health and wellbeing across our lifespan. The benefits of singing in relation to overall health and wellbeing which can be categorised into four main areas - psychological, social, physiological and behavioural: Emotional/Psychological Singing lowers cortisol and relieves stress and tension. Studies have shown that when people sing, endorphins and oxytocin are released by the brain which in turn lowers stress and anxiety levels. Oxytocin (a natural hormone produced in the hypothalamus) also enhances feelings of trust and bonding which also explains the reports that singing also improves depression and feelings of loneliness. Singing boosts confidence. The release of endorphins gives singers a positive feeling and an energy boost. The act of learning a new skill, improving and being part of a group also helps to influence your confidence and self-esteem. Singing is a mindful activity. So much is going on in your body and mind when you sing that when you are singing you are fully focused on it. This allows you to ‘turn off’ your stream of consciousness and live completely in the moment, distracting your mind from negative thoughts, focusing on the sound, the action, the breathing, the feeling and the pleasure of song. Mindfulness has been shown to have many benefits, including reducing stress and increasing focus. ​ ​ Social Singing improves social bonding and social cohesion. Singing is an intimate activity and when you share it with others, it helps strengthen bonds. Research has shown that group singing (no matter the quality of the results) is an excellent icebreaker and has even been shown to synchronise the heartbeats of those people singing together. When people have mental illness, creating and sustaining social bonds is critical in combatting loneliness and depression. ​ Singing together creates a strong sense of community and social inclusion. Singing with others enhances the possibilities of empathic relationships and generates a positive group identity. Social inclusion is a key part of recovery for people with mental health needs. Feeling connected to others is not only important in terms of having a social and emotional support system where you feel loved, esteemed and valued, it also encourages healthier behaviour patterns and has a positive influence on overall physical health. ​ Behavioural Changes Singing helps you believe in yourself, increasing self-efficacy. Through the journey of learning a new skill, engaging with others and performing (even if it’s just within the confines of the group itself), you begin to believe in yourself more and in your power to succeed having long-term impacts in other aspects of your life. Research with The Choir With No Name, a homelessness charity, found 60% of participants in a singing group went on to volunteer, get a job or move in to more stable accommodation. Singing provides an unthreatening way to express emotions. Studies have shown that singing can also be a powerful tool in emotion-focused coping. Instead of eliminating stressful situations from your life (which isn't always possible), emotion-focused coping is a way of managing stress with techniques that help you to become less emotionally reactive to stress. ​ Physiological Singing strengthens the immune system. Immediately after singing, studies have shown that singers had higher levels of the protein Immunoglobulin A, an antibody known to benefit the immune function of mucous membranes. High levels of stress and depression (often found in those with mental illness) have been found to impact negatively upon your immune system by activating your body’s fight of flight mechanism, raising your heart rate, interfering with your sleep and diminishing your physical health. Research has also shown that the increased airflow in your lungs during singing also lessens the likelihood of bacteria flourishing in your upper respiratory tract. Singing improves breathing. When you learn to sing, you learn to breathe well, use your diaphragm and increase your oxygen intake and lung capacity. According to research, this improved breathing and knowledge of the breath also helps people deal with anxiety and panic attacks. Singing is an aerobic activity and increases overall health. It exercises major muscle groups in the upper body, helping to improve the efficiency of your cardiovascular system and encourages you to take more oxygen into your body, leading to increased alertness. ​ Singing stimulates the vagus nerve. Connected to the vocal cords and the back of the throat, the vagus nerve is the longest cranial nerve in the body, connecting the brain to various organs. A key part of the parasympathetic nervous system, the vagus nerve influences breathing, digestion and heart rate among other things. A 2010 study showed that the more you increase your vagal tone the more your physical and mental health improve and the faster you can relax after stress. Singing helps with pain. In studies conducted with people suffering chronic pain, singing has been shown to alleviate the pain symptoms for not just immediately afterward but for up to 6 months later. The studies have also shown that singing could have a real impact on the amount of pain relief medication used by participants. This is particularly interesting given the long-term negative side effects that pain medication can have on the body and also the savings that this could mean for the NHS. Taken from Sing Up Foundation: http://www.singupfoundation.org

I first read this poem when I was doing my Mindfulness training back in 2013. Rumi's verse would have to be one of the most frequently recited poems in mindfulness retreats and courses around the world. I love all of his poetry but this is definitely one of my personal favourites. As Mooji observes, Rumi reminds us that feelings are visitors that come and go. To be with whatever life brings to us. Whether it comes in the form of a a joy or a great difficulty Rumi encourages us to open ourselves to whatever life brings us - internally or externally. Whatever life throws at us, our attitude and commitment to greet it without fear or loathing and with whatever subtle faith we can muster, allows us to become wiser, kinder and more compassionate to self and others. It just gets to the heart of mindful living in the most eloquent and beautiful way. I might just print this to go on my therapy room's wall...

Talking to another therapist colleague the other day about how so many of us struggle with resilience, I was recommended to watch this TED talk. Well, she was right. It is a good 'un! Dr Lucy Hone is a resilience expert who thought she found her calling supporting people to recover following the Christchurch earthquake. She had no idea that her personal journey was about to take her to a far darker place. In this powerful and courageous talk, she shares the three strategies that got her through an unimaginable tragedy⁠ - and offers a profound insight on human suffering. Dr Lucy Hone is a director of the New Zealand Institute of Wellbeing & Resilience, a research associate at AUT University, a published academic researcher, best-selling author and contributor to Psychology Today, the Sunday Star Times and Next magazine. She trained at the University of Pennsylvania and got her PhD in public health at AUT University in Auckland. She has helped a range of organisations - rom primary schools to leading law firms - to design and implement wellbeing initiatives creating sustained and meaningful change. This has included organisations in the UK. Five years ago, the sudden death of Lucy’s 12-year-old daughter Abi forced Lucy to turn her academic training and professional practice to foster resilience in very personal circumstances. The blog she wrote in the aftermath of Abi’s death attracted international attention and resulted in the best-selling non-fiction title, What Abi Taught Us, Strategies for Resilient Grieving (Allen & Unwin, 2016), now available as Resilient Grieving in the US, UK and NZ. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx

Feelings have the power to affect us emotionally. We can learn to live without getting affected by every feeling which visits us. Feelings and experiences are part of life, they keep on coming and going, so reflect on them. They are there to guide us. Be open to them for they will pass. So, what to do when a big feeling hits: 1. Don’t do anything. It may seem counterproductive. We’ve become so used to the idea that we need to find a solution. Though problem solving may work in many areas of our life, it rarely does with feelings. Often just doing the very opposite can have a positive effect. Allow natural processes to take over. When we start to feel sad or angry, for example, stay with those feelings. It's a big ask because it’s difficult. It’s also important. What does this actually look like? Focus on the feeling. We can breathe into the feeling, let it come into our bodies, and give it permission to be there, without interfering with it. Take morning anxiety as an example, when we feel anxious, we may try and convince ourselves to feel okay, or try to anxiously search for a reason for its appearance, both of these activities only increase our anxiety. Alternatively, acknowledge and hold the anxiety (or whatever feeling we are experiencing) gently in your awareness. This is not the same as thinking about the feeling. We are trying to feel the feeling. We will probably feel very uncomfortable doing this. However, the work is about bearing that feeling for as long as we can. When we give our feelings space and awareness they generally soon pass. 2. Do not attach your self worth to being ‘okay’ or coping with life. We often think that if we feel upset, devastated or sad then there is something wrong with us. That we’re failing. On the contrary, our ability to be impacted by our life, to feel sad when sad things happen shows that we are coping with life. Feelings are feelings. Nothing more. Nothing less. They are guests passing through.

A great example of Dad 'holding space' for his young son. He is calm and 'regulated' - modelling how 'to be' , without judgement, shaming his youngster, fear or anger. What does that mean for the little lad? He grows up feeling secure, loved, supported and accepted. He learns how to 'regulate' himself as his capacity for language and understanding develops. Wonderful!

We are mere humans. Not perfect but perfectly imperfect. In our mistakes, comes growth...if we look for it. It never surprises me that we often keep making the same mistakes but once it is in our awareness, we can, maybe, do something differently. Exploring our patterns in therapy can reap huge benefits. Personal development is growth and growth is good!

This can be a difficult time of year - daylight is getting shorter, nights longer, grey days and the possibility of a long, cold winter ahead of us. Less physical activity can mean being more with ourselves and that is not always a comfortable place to be. Stresses can feel that much darker. Having a nervous breakdown could seem like the ultimate calamity. Far from it. Handled correctly, it can be a unique opportunity to learn - and to get properly well. What got you there? What changes could you make? What cannot be changed? Our past cannot be changed but we can learn from it and maybe change our perspective. When in the pit, there is only one way out...up!

Playfulness is a superpower! How do we live playfully? Steven Gross talks us through how in this marvellous TED talk. Play is the spirit we bring to everything - are we fully present in the moment?

Experience the world like a child. They soon forget their quarrels with their friends and start playing together once again. Maybe this helps them to be happy and smiling? Translated into the language of adults, perhaps we should learn to forget and forgive more? Not forgetting the power in play either!

What change can do for us? Change helps us grow Changes often force us to adapt in ways we’ve never experienced, which can promote personal (and even professional) growth and development. Change teaches you to be flexible Change can be something that gets us out of a rut. By embracing change and meeting it head-on with excitement, we can learn not to be so set in our ways, which can help us maintain a more positive attitude. Change can challenge our values and beliefs Reacting to change often involves re-evaluating our belief system. If you’re devoutly religious, for example, you don’t need to turn your faith on its head but if you’re open to learning new ways of approaching problems, you may find you learn something. Alternately, change may simply reinforce your trust in the belief system you already have. Either way, you become stronger. Change reveals your strengths Without being forced to accept changes, we might never recognise our own strength including our ability to adapt in new and possibly more exciting ways. Change makes you more compassionate If we become complacent, it can be much more difficult to understand what others might be going through. Change reminds us to be kind when we’re considering the choices other people may make. Change breaks up routines Some routines, like brushing and flossing our teeth, are good to maintain but other routines can leave us bored and possibly even contribute to depression and stress. If we break up our routine; change keeps our mind active, refocusing our thoughts so our mind stays active and doesn’t become fixated on negative thought patterns. Change offers opportunities By altering how we live our life, even in a small way, change can present us with opportunities that can have a domino effect, providing us with more choices so we can lead a more fulfilling and authentic life.

What many of us long for more than anything else is a simpler life; we can often feel overwhelmed by our responsibilities, schedules, commitments and obligations. This short film is about how to create the simpler life we deserve.

Identify your fears – and your goals. Why? Knowing what we want, as well as what we don’t want, allows us to stay focused to pursue our goals. Take baby steps to build confidence. Create a self-fulfilling prophecy to encourage your success. Remember to consider the source of any discouragement from others. Maintain momentum by repeating Steps 1-5 over time. So acknowledge your fears and goals, take another baby step in the direction of your goal, in order to create a self-fulfilling prophecy of success. So, moving beyond our fears can actually help us reach our goals.