Some things may be equally essential but nothing is more important than a healthy sense of self-esteem, or self-worth, and loving yourself. Why? 1. Life becomes simpler and lighter. When you love yourself more then things simply become lighter and easier. You won’t make as many mountains out of molehills (or out of plain air) as you used to or beat yourself up or drag yourself down over mistakes or temporary setbacks. 2. You’ll have more inner stability and self-sabotage less. When your opinion of yourself goes up then you’ll stop trying to get so much validation and attention from other people. You will set healthy boundaries. You become less anxious and find an inner stability even when your world might be negative or uncertain at times. The increasing self-esteem and self-love also makes you feel more deserving of good things in life and so you’ll self-sabotage less and go after what you deep down want with more motivation and focus than ever before. 3. You might just be happier.

Are you one of those people who dreads Valentine's Day? Whether you are single or in a relationship, we have all kinds of reasons for wanting to skip February 14th - there’s too much pressure to be romantic; it’s all about money and gifts; single people are made to feel like failures. It would be easy to say Valentine’s isn’t worth the trouble! But I think we can all make this an event we actually enjoy instead of dread. Here, Matthew Hussey talks you through some of the big mistakes people make when approaching the day (and their whole dating life). Avoid these 5 traps and you’ll be on your way to fulfilling love at any time of year...

Want to be a quarter more productive and get a positive boost while you're at it? Start setting smart goals! This fun video will not only explain what a smart goal is, but how you can set your own to work and live better.⁂ Produced by Flikli I often talk about setting SMART goals. Coming from a teaching background, I often find many people set themselves too challenging a goal, or it is too woolly or vague, or just not realistic or achievable. SMART is a way of checking your goals- make them Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time Defined! One of mine is: On Sundays and Wednesdays, I will have an early night. Is it SMART? Sure is!

It's great to set specific, achievable goals, but actor and martial artist Bruce Lee makes the point that sometimes, it's okay to not reach that goal. If you've worked hard and made progress, that goal has still served its purpose by giving you something to aim for. Is it better to be a little optimistic than overly realistic if you really want to achieve? Though if you want those goals to really work, it's best to create multiple milestones, or baby steps, along the way to help you out. As that other favourite quote of mine states "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Lao-tzu.

Jung was the founder of the idea of a collective unconscious. The collective unconscious is a group-mind that we all share; something we are born with that contains humanity’s shared concepts, called archetypes. Archetypes are things like having parents, finding a partner, having children and confronting death. Jung was also interested in the way we use myths to tell stories about these archetypes with a shared meaning. What we can gain insight about, what shifts from our unconscious to our conscious, can only serve us well. It gives us the opportunity to notice thoughts and feelings, make links and, consequently, make changes in our behaviours. Hopefully leading us towards a more authentic life.

I frequently suggest journalling as a way of recording feelings, drawing out thoughts and keeping a log of personal development activities. It can be as simple or as complicated as you like. It doesn't have to be done daily, can involve coloured pens or pencils, pictures or photos. It can be themed or just focussed on the moment. It can help with emptying the mind before sleep and a record of dreams. There are so many ideas for journals on YouTube. I have investigated 'bullet journals' but they seem a little complicated - perhaps I just haven't found a straightforward bullet journal idea yet. Let me know if you do! So what to start with? How about 3 good things in each day? What are you grateful for? Look for small things that have given you joy. Today I am grateful for the NHS for picking up a health concern, the bright crisp winter sunshine this morning and wearing my new stripy jumper. What are you grateful for?

Bessel van der Kolk is a Boston-based psychiatrist noted for his research in the area of post-traumatic stress since the 1970s. His work focuses on the interaction of attachment, neurobiology and developmental aspects of trauma’s effects on people. His major publication, the New York Times bestseller 'The Body Keeps the Score', talks about how the role of trauma in psychiatric illness has changed over the past 20 years, what we have learned about the ways the brain is shaped by traumatic experiences, how traumatic stress is a response of the entire body and how that knowledge is beginning to be integrated into psychotherapy.

I was shown this powerful Ted Med talk today as part of training on working with trauma. It's true to say, childhood trauma isn’t something you just get over as you grow up. Paediatrician Nadine Burke Harris explains that the repeated stress of abuse, neglect and parents struggling with mental health or substance abuse issues has real, tangible effects on the development of the brain. This unfolds across a lifetime, to the point where those who’ve experienced high levels of trauma are at triple the risk for heart disease and lung cancer. An impassioned plea for paediatric medicine to confront the prevention and treatment of trauma, head-on.

Ex-Disney animator Gary Andrews' beautiful animation 'The Doodle Diaries' illustrates what family life is like since the loss of his wife Joy. The One Show | BBC Every night, without fail, children's TV animation director Gary Andrews captures a poignant moment from family life with exquisite sketches in his 'Doodle Diary'. Hand-drawn in pen, they feature charming cartoon caricatures of himself, his wife Joy and his two young children, Lily, ten, and seven-year-old Ben. When Gary first started his Doodle Diaries three years ago on his 54th birthday, he was a happily married family man whose drawings were infused with humour and delight at his good fortune. Today, they tell a very different story. For the past six months they've charted his harrowing journey as a widowed, single dad struggling to fill the gap left by his wife's sudden death.

There are few experiences in life that are as encompassing as grief. While everyone grieves differently, anyone who has suffered a profound loss knows grief’s impact. For many of us, grief is often felt physically and can sit anywhere in our body. It is not uncommon to become unwell following a loss or to experience sleep or dietary issues. Grief can bring a heaviness which makes exercise difficult to continue. Returning to work following a loss can provide helpful structure, but it also has its challenges. Grief tends to leave us in a fog where it is difficult to focus, stay organised, plus manage time and deadlines – all occupational risks. It is often hard to concentrate and it is easy to lose your intellectual spark during grief. The things that used to bring pleasure and interest, no longer do. Many find strength in their spiritual life following a loss, while others may begin to existential question. Deep loss can force us to reassess the assumptions we have about God or how the world works. Unfortunately grief often is felt socially as well. Social support is the number one protective factor following a loss, yet grief can also be extremely isolating. Some friends may not be comfortable with our grief and shy away, causing secondary losses as well. Grief is frequently felt emotionally, perhaps in the form of fear, guilt, anger, loneliness and anxiety in addition to sadness. This is all normal. Go with your grieving. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

Counselling and therapy is often about developing our self-awareness but how easy is it to do this? Self-awareness has countless proven benefits - stronger relationships, higher performance, more effective leadership. Sounds pretty great, right? Here’s the bad news: 95% of people think that they’re self-aware, but only 10-15% actually are! Luckily, Tasha Eurich has a simple solution that will instantly improve your self-awareness. As a third-generation entrepreneur, Dr. Tasha Eurich was born with a passion for business, pairing her scientific savvy in human behaviour with a practical approach to solving business challenges. As an organisational psychologist, she’s helped thousands of leaders improve their effectiveness, from Fortune 500 executives to early-stage entrepreneurs. Her new book, Insight, reveals the findings of her three-year research programme on self-awareness, which she calls the meta-skill of the 21st century.

Self-awareness is an awareness of the self and it is the self which makes our identity unique, including our thoughts, experiences and abilities. An example of self-awareness would be our ability to reflect on our identities or our personalities, such as knowing what makes our experience different from someone else’s experience. Recognising this difference is a key part of self-awareness. Self-awareness allows us to know what our limitations are and to make choices based on our capabilities. Self-reflection, insight and mindfulness are aspects of self-awareness which can lead to benefits such as becoming a more accepting person. Mindfulness, too, can support us in developing our self-awareness as we draw attention to our thoughts and our bodies in the present in an accepting and non judgemental way. As for self-awareness, it seems to be important to self-reflect without brooding about one’s negative thoughts, memories and traits.