Take a pause now and then during the day to connect with yourself, to connect with your breath, to relax. Bring your stresses and tensions down as you breath - count 6 in, hold for 6, and 6 out...repeat...repeat. Check your thinking...check your body. Where are you? Be curious and accepting.

In theory, we're nowadays allowed to get together with pretty much anyone we like. And yet, at a psychological level, we aren't free to love just any suitable person. We have a type - and strangely and awkwardly, these types are often not those who stand a chance of making us maximally happy. Theoretically we are free to select the kind of person we love. We might have chosen someone else. We’re not being forced into this by social convention or match-making aunts or dynastic imperatives. But in reality our choice is probably a lot less free than we imagine. Some very real constraints around whom we can love and feel properly attracted to come from a place we might not think to look: our childhoods. Our psychological history strongly predisposes us to fall for only certain types of people. Freud was onto something...

I think many of us are familiar with PTSD and how body and behavioural responses can be triggered in everyday life to the extent that someone can find it difficult to build and maintain close relationships or work. Trauma is invariably behind other 'firefighting' behaviours such as addictions whether 'harmful' or 'healthy' - just think about over drinking versus working long hours! These are our coping strategies and for a lot of the time protect us from our thoughts and feelings...but they don't work all the time. Honour them and find support from a qualified and experienced trauma counsellor or psychotherapist. It may not be an easy or quick process but over time healing can begin.

As I am doing EMDR training this month, I wanted to remind myself how trauma affects the brain. Looking through YouTube clips as well as reading and rereading previous training notes I came across this excellent clip which is why I wanted to share it. The London Trauma Specialists' Psychoeducation Video: The Brain Model of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is based on Brewin, Dalgleish & Joseph's (1996) Dual Representation Theory. It is clear, concise and accessible. If you feel you have experienced trauma, particularly childhood trauma and PTSD, I would recommend a counsellor or psychotherapist who is particularly trained or experienced in this area.

This wonderful poem is by Linda Ellis and can be shared if non profit making. In the written form these dates show up side by side, start date and end date separated by a simple form of punctuation - the dash. This “dash” that separates these dates is what symbolizes the time between these two dates, in essence it is your life. How are you living your dash?

At some point in our lives, almost every one of us will have our heart broken. Imagine how different things would be if we paid more attention to this unique emotional pain. Psychologist Guy Winch reveals how recovering from heartbreak starts with a determination to fight our instincts to idealize and search for answers that aren't there -- and offers a toolkit on how to, eventually, move on. Our hearts might sometimes be broken, but we don't have to break with them. This talk was presented at an official TED conference, and was featured by it's editors on the home page.

New Year, maybe a resolution or two? Perhaps try something different and focus on finding something to be grateful for each day? Build positive neural pathways to help balance those negative neural pathways. Happiness is now.

Yes, there are yet more reasons for getting a good night's sleep. The brain uses a quarter of the body's entire energy supply, yet only accounts for about two percent of the body's mass. So how does this unique organ receive and, perhaps more importantly, rid itself of vital nutrients? New research suggests it has to do with sleep. Jeff Iliff talks us through current thinking.

"See a child differently, you see a different child." The language we use can change how we view our children and how they view themselves. With the Christmas holidays soon upon us, it can bring with it the challenges of managing children's behaviour during an already stressful time. The mindset we have when we view and handle "bad" behaviour can often change the outcome. Sometimes children are stressed or frustrated due to tiredness, worry or fear - lack of control or even lack of skills. Be curious. Ask how you can help. It might just change the outcome - the usual pattern of behaviour. "See a child differently, you see a different child."

5 tips on how to start a conversation about mental health: 5 people with experience of mental health problems give us their top tips on how to start a conversation about mental health. We all have mental health so ask how someone is, listen without judgement and remember, your solution may not be theirs. Listening and being there, offering empathy and respect, can be enough. Find more about how talking tackles mental health discrimination with https://www.time-to-change.org.uk.

What is love? It can be many things from passion, to strong affection, to care and commitment. Should it hurt? Should it evoke fear? Should it be about control? If these things are happening to you, then is it love? Perhaps now is the time to check it out. Domestic Violence call lines can support you - see my Useful Information page for phone numbers. Love is being safe. Keep safe.

This is a brilliant animation from Talking Mental Health designed to help begin conversations about mental health in the classroom and beyond. The animation and accompanying resources have been created by a team of animators, children, teachers and clinicians, and is being taught to year 5 and 6 children around the UK. For more resources, including the free Teacher Toolkit, please visit the Schools in Mind pages at www.annafreud.org.