Inspired by recent Attachment Focused Therapy training with Barnardo's and Thrive training with Hampshire County Council - a quotation encapsulating the significance of a supportive environment. How healing this can be. Lives can be changed for the better.

Here, the inspirational Bryan Post presents a very different understanding of the effects of child abuse and neglect and the long lasting behaviours that often result from these life experiences, along with how we can help these most vulnerable children. This information relates to children and teens alike. Children labelled with a diagnosis of Reactive Attachment Disorder, Oppositional Defiance, Attention Deficit Disorder, Autism, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression, Hyperactivity, (to name just a few) often present with behaviour which are challenging to parents and educators. His approach, however, can help any parent and child. His understanding and parenting philosophy can change your family for the better - for life! The Post Institute is the leading publisher of love based family centred parenting for adopted, fostered and diagnosed children. This Attachment Focused approach to parenting difficult children empowers parents to create a healing environment in the lives of children that have experienced trauma. How do they do it? With love. The kind of love that there is nothing a child has to do to earn it, and nothing a child may do that will lose it.

Having spent some time training in Attachment Focused Therapy to work with parents and children, I wanted to share the above slide. All behaviour is a way of communicating unmet needs. How we respond to our children will be influenced by our own attachment style. Building a strong, secure attachment means responding to and meeting our children's needs through playfulness, acceptance, curiosity and empathy, or PACE. So, forget 'time out'...our children need 'time in!'

Why do we form such strong attachment to our things? Christian Jarrett takes us through the psychology of ownership From witnessing the “violent rage” shown by babies whenever deprived of an item they considered their own, Jean Piaget – a founding father of child psychology – observed something profound about human nature: our sense of ownership emerges incredibly early.

Get one! It's good for your mental well being. I like Emily Norris's Me-Time video. Yes, she's pushing Garnier a bit but choose your favourite products or whatever is on offer in the supermarket. The FlyLady also has some good tips - www.FlyLady.net. Happy Mum = happy family!

Holidays are the time for 'me time', or is it? Do you trade sleep time for 'me time'? I'm hearing that many of us do - catch up on Facebook chatting to friends, reading a book, maybe watching something more age appropriate than Disney or the Inbetweeners. 'Me time' is important. It helps us from running on empty and giving when there is hardly anything else to give but sleep is important too. Our bodies and brains need it to rest, repair and recuperate. Sleep helps to keep our heart healthy. Our cardiovascular system is constantly under pressure and sleep helps to reduce the levels of stress and inflammation in the body - and high levels of "inflammatory markers" are linked to heart disease and strokes. Get your sleep and get some 'me time'!

Erikson's theory of psychosocial development identifies eight stages in which a healthy individual passes through from birth to death. At each stages we encounter different needs, ask new questions and meet people who influence our behaviour and learning. Our hopes, motivation and ambitions change. We discover more about ourselves and can make conscious change if we so wish.

Butterflies go through four distinct life stages before reaching their final beautiful imago stage. We too go through various life stages and some can be particularly gruelling or challenging, but like the butterfly, we can emerge, maybe not so beautiful, but definitely older and wiser!

Finding it difficult to explain our struggles with life or ask for support is a universal issue - yes, it seems to be harder for certain genders and cultures but the shame impacts many of us. Sadly, it is still the perception that we are weak if we are struggling but is it?

How do you know when you are better? How do you know if you don't need counselling or therapy any more? Can you 'get over' or do you 'live with'? If you are beginning to notice the beautiful, your mind is more at ease or there are longer periods between the dark then you might just be on your way.

Isn't this lovely? What a super example of growth mindset! She keeps going until she gets there. No one came to her rescue. She showed resilience and perseverance. And what a patient, little pony!

When I read these words I was very touched. So often bereaved people share how sad it makes them when others 'ignore' them or don't mention their family member or friend when they do talk. Sad feelings don't go away because they are not talked about. Acknowledge the feelings, validate the memories and help process grief. Thank you Butterflies and Pebbles.