I enjoy listening to Eckhart Tolle. Here he talks through the story of Narcissus explaining how the ego impacts our view of ourselves and how to find freedom from that suffering. Eckhart Tolle Now, Eckhart’s online community, offers his new in-depth teachings every month, practical Q&A sessions with Eckhart, and member-only discounts on Eckhart’s online programs. There is a FREE 10-DAY TRIAL to Eckhart Tolle Now: https://members.eckharttolle.com/10-d... Eckhart Tolle is widely recognised as one of the most inspiring and visionary spiritual teachers in the world today. With his international bestsellers, The Power of Now and A New Earth—translated into more than 50 languages—he has introduced millions to the joy and freedom of living life in the present moment. The New York Times has described him as “the most popular spiritual author in the United States,” and in 2011, Watkins Review (now Watkins Mind Body Spirit) named him “the most spiritually influential person in the world.” Eckhart’s profound yet simple teachings have helped countless people around the globe experience a state of vibrantly alive inner peace in their daily lives. His teachings focus on the significance and power of Presence, the awakened state of consciousness, which transcends ego and discursive thinking. Eckhart sees this awakening as the essential next step in human evolution.

The BBC reported back in October 2023 that there is growing evidence that simple, everyday changes to our lives can alter our brains and change how they work.  It seems meditation and exercise together can boost brain plasticity. Changing your mind may just be a possibility! So how do we keep our brains healthy?   BBC journalist Melissa Hogenboom explores the latest scientific research and has her own brain scanned and analysed, with intriguing results. Watch part two of Brain Hacks here: https://www.bbc.com/reel/playlist/bra ...

Have a listen to Penny Mallory and discover what mental toughness is and how it could transform your life. She asks us to imagine what would happen if we developed our mental toughness? Against all the odds, Penny Mallory made her childhood dream come true when she became the first woman in the world to compete in a World Rally Car for Ford in the World Rally Championship. She remains the only woman to have achieved this. Not bad considering she was teenage runaway and spent 3 years homeless in London. Penny attributes her success to having learned how to build and harness 'Mental Toughness'. She now teaches her Mental Toughness formula to help people develop confidence, resilience, commitment, determination and focus so that they can build powerful, successful teams and organisations. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community.

Within mental health and well-being, emotional resilience stands as a powerful shield that enables us to navigate through life's adversities with grace and strength. At Cosmos Counselling , I understand the significance of fostering emotional resilience so we can lead a fulfilling life despite the inevitable obstacles that come our way. Let's delve into the essence of emotional resilience and its transformative impact on our lives... Understanding Emotional Resilience Emotional resilience signifies our ability to adapt to stress, trauma and adversity without succumbing to despair. It is not about avoiding challenges but rather managing them with a realistic mindset and determination. Optimism: Seeing setbacks as temporary and maintaining a hopeful outlook. Adaptability: Embracing change and being flexible in the face of adversity. Self-Compassion: Treating oneself with kindness and understanding during tough times. Purpose: Finding meaning and motivation in challenges, leading to personal growth. The Journey Towards Emotional Resilience Cultivating emotional resilience is a path that requires self-reflection, practice, and support from others. It involves the development of healthy coping mechanisms, emotional regulation skills and a nurturing environment that fosters growth. Counselling and psychotherapy offers a safe space for individuals to explore their emotions, build resilience and unlock their inner strength. Therapy sessions aim to empower individuals to embrace challenges and realise they can be opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Embracing Resilience in Daily Life Mindfulness Practices: Engage in mindfulness meditation to stay present and reduce stress. Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Develop healthy ways to cope with stress, such as exercise or creative outlets. Seeking Support: Reach out to friends, family or professionals for guidance and encouragement. Self-Care Rituals: Prioritise self-care activities that rejuvenate your mind, body and spirit. The Triumph of Resilience To conclude, emotional resilience helps us navigate life's challenges. By embracing resilience, we not only overcome such difficulties but may also emerge stronger, wiser and more compassionate towards ourselves and others. Remember, resilience is not the absence of hardships but the courage to face them. User Insights: The Power of Emotional Resilience Site Activity Conclusion: The data gathered from our site activity reveals a growing interest in topics related to emotional well-being and resilience among our visitors, showcasing a genuine desire for personal growth and self-improvement. The blog post explores the profound impact of emotional resilience in conquering life's challenges and highlights the transformative journey towards holistic well-being. Through introspection, support and proactive steps, individuals can harness the power of resilience to thrive in the face of adversity. Counselling can assist in this journey if needed.

The School of Life has created another super short film all about our capacity to think - positive, neutral and negative thoughts as well as irrational and compulsive. It is estimated that some 70,000 separate thoughts hurry through our consciousness from the moment we wake up to the time we slip into sleep. To help us understand those thoughts The School of Life have produced five questions to direct our minds to areas which we tend to neglect and from where trouble can most intensely arise when we do so. Reflections before bed may just be a helpful beginning. FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects in our articles, here: https://9qq0.short.gy/okh44o “Our minds are some of the busiest places in the known universe. It is estimated that, under a deceptively calm exterior, some 70,000 separate thoughts hurry through consciousness from the moment we wake up to the time we slip into sleep – some of these elaborate and sequential, many more fragmentary and sensory by nature. What these many thoughts have in common is that we seldom do them any kind of justice. The river of ideas and feelings is relentless, turbulent and chaotic. In a typical minute, we might briefly register that we are annoyed with a friend, then our minds are directed to a worry about a tax return, which is then quickly supplanted by the sighting of a raven, which makes us think of our grandmother, who evokes a trip we once took to Greece, which ushers in thoughts of some lip balm we need to purchase, which is then supplanted by a registering of a pain in our left knee, which is succeeded by a memory of a friend we lost touch with after university, which cedes to a recurring reflection on what kind of lamp we might invest in for the living room. And we might here still only be at the thirty second mark of what we casually call ‘thinking’ or just ‘gazing out of the window’…”

In today's fast-paced world, stress has become a common companion for many. We often find ourselves overwhelmed by the demands of daily life, juggling work, relationships and personal well-being. But what if I told you that all stress begins with one negative thought? Managing negative thoughts can be done. Understanding the Power of Thoughts Our thoughts have a profound impact on our emotions and actions. When we dwell on negative thoughts, it can lead to a downward spiral of stress and anxiety. Learning to manage and reframe these negative thoughts is key to maintaining a healthy and balanced mindset. Strategies for Negative Thought Management Take a moment to reflect on your thought patterns. Are there recurring themes that lead to stress? Recognising these patterns is the first step towards change. When a negative thought arises, challenge its validity. Ask yourself if there is evidence to support this thought or if there could be an alternative, more positive perspective. Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation, can help you stay present and break free from negative thought cycles. Focusing on the positive aspects of your life can shift your perspective and reduce the impact of negative thoughts. User Insights "All stress begins with one negative thought." This simple yet profound statement highlights the importance of our thought patterns in managing stress effectively. Conclusion By implementing these strategies and taking proactive steps to manage negative thoughts, you can cultivate a mindset that is resilient to stress. Remember, you have the power to shape your thoughts and, in turn, shape your reality. SEO Keywords: negative thought management Visit Cosmos Counselling in Liphook or more resources on stress management and well-being.

I recommend somatic experiencing exercises which can be quite the transformative journey. Watch Dr Arianne Missimer guide you through three powerful somatic exercises designed to help you break free from the mental chatter in our heads and reconnect with your body's wisdom. Whether you're seeking stress relief, mindfulness, or simply a deeper sense of presence, these exercises are your gateway. Join us as we explore gentle movements, breath awareness, and mindful stretches that will anchor you to the present moment. Remember we are focusing on our inner bodily experience rather than how 'effective' the stretch is. Timestamp: 00:00 I ntroduction 00:14 What You Need To Know About Somatic Experiencing 00:56 1st Somatic Exercise: Butterfly Hug 01:53 2nd Somatic Exercise: Wipe Away 02:37 3rd Somatic Exercise: Goddess #somatics #somaticexercises

Storytelling is a powerful tool for healing because it allows people to reclaim their narratives, process emotions, and make meaning out of difficult experiences . When we tell our stories—whether through writing, speaking, art, or movement—we engage with our past in a way that can transform pain into growth . How Storytelling and Writing Supports Healing 🌀 Reframing the Narrative Shifting from “I am broken” to “I have survived and grown” Moving from a victim mindset to an empowered perspective Recognising patterns and making conscious choices moving forward 💬 Externalising Pain Putting emotions into words helps regulate them (like in therapy) Distancing from traumatic events without suppressing them Turning shame into self-compassion through self-expression 🎭 Accessing the Subconscious Writing, art and movement can reveal unconscious beliefs Metaphor and symbolism help us explore what feels unspeakable Dreamwork, myths and archetypes can connect personal pain to universal themes 🤝 Finding Community & Connection Sharing stories reduces isolation and shame Seeing others with similar experiences fosters validation and support Collective storytelling (in groups, memoirs, social movements) creates change Methods of Storytelling for Healing ✍️ Journaling & Expressive Writing Freewriting about emotions (stream of consciousness) Writing letters to past/future selves or to people who hurt you (particularly if unsent) "Rewriting" a traumatic experience with a new, empowered perspective 🎭 Creative Arts Therapy Creating visual art, music or dance to express feelings beyond words Using drama or roleplay to step into different parts of a story Exploring myths, fairy tales, or personal symbols as metaphors for healing 📖 Memoir & Personal Narrative Writing Writing a life story with themes of resilience and transformation Exploring different perspectives of the same event to gain insight Writing as if a wiser, compassionate self were narrating your journey 🌙 Dreamwork & Mythology Looking at personal dreams for hidden wisdom Finding personal meaning in ancient myths, folktales, and archetypes Using storytelling to connect personal struggles to larger human experiences Let’s do a storytelling exercise designed to help you reframe a difficult experience  with more self-compassion, strength, and meaning . Exercise: The Hero’s Journey Rewrite This exercise is inspired by the classic Hero’s Journey  framework, which shows how struggles can lead to transformation. You’ll be writing a short story where you are the protagonist  moving through a challenge and coming out stronger. Step 1: Choose Your Story Think of a personal experience that was painful, confusing or difficult. It can be: A time you felt lost, rejected or misunderstood A relationship struggle or heartbreak A moment of failure or self-doubt A trauma or hardship that shaped you 💡 If it's too painful to write as yourself, you can write as a fictional character or use metaphor (e.g., a traveller lost in the woods, a phoenix rising from ashes). Step 2: Write Your Hero’s Journey Here’s a simple structure to follow: 1️⃣ The Ordinary World:  Who were you before the challenge? Describe your world before things changed.2️⃣ The Call to Adventure:  What event shook things up? What struggle began?3️⃣ The Dark Night:  What was the hardest part? What emotions did you face?4️⃣ The Turning Point:  What helped you shift? (Insight, support, realisation, inner strength?)5️⃣ The Return & Growth:  How are you different now? What wisdom or strength did you gain? Step 3: Reflect & Reframe After writing, ask yourself: What parts of my story show resilience, even if I didn’t see it before? How can I honour my growth instead of just the pain? If I met the past version of myself in this story, what would I say to them?

Mental health has become a hot topic in our society. Although awareness has increased, many still face stigma and confusion surrounding common mental health issues. It's important to realise that mental health struggles are merely experiences we navigate, not labels that define us. As author Matt Haig says, just like walking in the rain, we may feel the discomfort, but we are not the storm. The Nature of Mental Health Mental health involves our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It impacts how we think, feel, and act. According to the World Health Organization, one in four people will experience a mental health issue at some point in their lives. Factors contributing to mental health problems can include genetics, environment, and life events. Understanding mental health issues as experiences can be empowering. Just as a storm can pass, so can our mental challenges. For instance, 70% of individuals with depression report substantial improvement with therapy. Recognising this can encourage people to seek help without feeling trapped by their circumstances. The Storm Metaphor Think of walking in the rain or a storm. While the droplets can drench your clothes and cloud your vision, they do not change who you are. Similarly, mental health challenges can feel overwhelming, but they do not shape your identity. This metaphor reminds us that difficult emotions are temporary. Embracing this viewpoint can inspire resilience and hope. For example, a person feeling anxious during a public speaking event may learn over time that those feelings are temporary and manageable. This realisation can lead to improvement and growth, encouraging individuals to seek out support and coping strategies. The Importance of Seeking Help Recognising that mental health problems are experiences, not identities, is a key step toward healing. Yet, it is helpful to understand when professional help may be beneficial. A report by Mental Health America found that 56% of adults with a mental health condition did not receive treatment in the past year. Therapy offers valuable tools for managing mental health challenges. Therapists can help individuals explore feelings, identify triggers, and develop coping mechanisms. A case study in 2021 showed that individuals who engaged in cognitive-behavioural therapy reported a 50% reduction in symptoms within just eight weeks. Seeking help is a sign of strength and a crucial step toward recovery. Building a Support System Creating a robust support system is vital for maintaining mental health. Friends, family, and support groups can provide understanding and encouragement. Research shows that social support can reduce the risk of mental health issues by up to 50%. When building your support network, opt for individuals who uplift you and offer empathy. These connections can be lifelines during tough times. For example, a friend who listens without judgment can help ease feelings of isolation. It is vital to connect with people who validate your experiences and encourage your journey. Practicing Self-Compassion Self-compassion is a powerful tool in facing mental health challenges. It means treating yourself kindly, especially during tough times. Research from Dr. Kristin Neff suggests that practicing self-compassion can lead to lower levels of anxiety and depression. Engaging in self-care activities can also boost mental well-being. This might include exercise, journaling, or spending time outdoors. Aim for small, achievable goals to create a nurturing environment that supports your mental health journey. For instance, spending 20 minutes in nature can significantly lower stress levels. Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques Mindfulness practices can effectively help manage mental health experiences. Techniques like deep breathing, meditation, and grounding exercises can help you stay present and reduce anxiety. For example, if you feel overwhelmed, take a moment to focus on your breath: inhale deeply for five counts, hold for two, and exhale for seven. Engaging in this simple practice can help regain focus and calm your mind, allowing you to weather life's storms more effectively. Embracing the Journey Navigating mental health challenges is a journey, not just a goal. Understand that healing takes time. While setbacks may occur, each small step forward demonstrates your resilience. Celebrate every victory, whether it's taking a walk, reaching out to a friend, or attending therapy. These moments contribute to your overall well-being and serve as reminders of your strength. Remember, your identity is defined by your ability to face and overcome challenges, not by the struggles you endure. Moving Forward Together Mental health problems are experiences that many people face, but they do not define us. Like walking in the rain, we can navigate the storms of mental health without letting them become our identity. By seeking help, building a support system, practicing self-compassion, and embracing mindfulness, we can find our way through challenges. A peaceful landscape reflecting calmness after a storm.

Mel Robbins' "Let Them" theory offers a transformative approach to personal growth and relationships by encouraging us to release the need to control others' actions and focus instead on our own responses. This mindset fosters emotional freedom and healthier interactions. Applying the "Let Them" Theory in Relationships: Romantic Partnerships: Scenario:  Your partner prefers spending weekends with friends rather than engaging in shared activities. Application:  Instead of feeling neglected or attempting to alter their behaviour, embrace the "Let Them" mindset. Use this time to pursue your own interests or connect with others. This approach reduces tension and allows both partners to maintain individuality within the relationship. Friendships: Scenario:  A close friend frequently cancels plans at the last minute. Application:  Rather than harbouring resentment or confronting them aggressively, adopt the "Let Them" perspective. Accept their behaviour as a reflection of their current circumstances. This acceptance can lead to a more relaxed dynamic, where you choose to invest energy in friends who are more reliable, without bitterness. Family Dynamics: Scenario:  A family member offers unsolicited advice about your career choices. Application:  Instead of engaging in arguments or feeling compelled to defend your decisions, "Let Them" express their opinions. Recognise that their perspectives are shaped by their experiences. By not internalising their judgments, you maintain peace of mind and uphold your autonomy. The Benefits for Personal Growth: Enhanced Emotional Well-being:  By relinquishing control over others, you reduce stress and anxiety associated with managing external behaviours. Strengthened Self-Identity:  Focusing on your own actions and reactions fosters a deeper understanding of yourself and your values. Improved Relationships:  Allowing others to be themselves without interference cultivates mutual respect and authenticity in interactions. It's important to note that the "Let Them" theory is not about passive acceptance in situations involving harm, discrimination or personal boundaries. In such cases, assertive communication and action are necessary. The theory emphasises releasing the need to control benign behaviours of others that do not directly impact your well-being. Try integrating the "Let Them" philosophy into your daily life, you can experience a profound shift in how you relate to others and nurture your personal development. Mel Robbin's has a book which explains more and there is her podcast, TED Talks and other video appearances.

Quote on background of lake at dusk. In psychotherapy, the power dynamics at play are often subtle yet impactful. These dynamics shape the relationship between therapists and clients. It's essential to understand how power, privilege and oppression influence therapy to create a fair and effective environment for healing. In this post, we will explore tangible ways to recognise and address these dynamics. Understanding Power and Privilege Power and privilege are not just theoretical ideas; they directly impact people's lives in therapy. Each person in the therapeutic relationship brings their unique backgrounds, values and experiences. Power can emerge from various factors, such as race, gender, socioeconomic status and education level. For example, research shows that over 60% of therapists (in the U.S. and likely to be similar here) are white, which may leave clients from diverse backgrounds feeling less understood or marginalised. A highly qualified, academic therapist may unintentionally dominate the work, leaving clients feeling unheard. For instance, a counsellor who is white and middle-class might overlook the challenges faced by a client of colour from a lower socioeconomic background. Recognisng these differences are crucial for fostering a supportive therapeutic environment. This is why it is essential therapists have explored their own biases and prejudices in their personal therapy, increasing their own self awareness. The Role of Intersectionality It's important to understand intersectionality, as it illustrates how multiple identities shape experiences of privilege and oppression. A therapist who holds societal privileges may not fully grasp the challenges faced by clients with intersecting marginalised identities. For example, consider a well-educated, cisgender, heterosexual male therapist. His worldview may significantly differ from that of a queer, transgender woman of colour, who experiences biases on multiple fronts. By addressing this complexity, therapists can engage in deeper discussions that validate the unique realities of their clients, thereby enriching the therapeutic process. Oppression and Its Impact on Therapy Oppression appears in various forms within therapy. It can affect clients who may feel belittled or dismissed, as well as therapists who face societal pressure and biases. Consider the challenges a therapist from a minority background might experience: they could encounter imposter syndrome or difficulty establishing credibility. When therapists recognise these layers of oppression, they can respond with greater empathy and understanding. In turn, clients who feel seen and respected are more likely to engage more honestly in their therapeutic journey. Strategies for Awareness and Change To effectively tackle power dynamics, therapists can commit to continuous self-reflection and education. Here are some practical strategies that can foster a more equitable therapeutic setting: Active Listening : Therapists focus on actively listening to validate the feelings and experiences of clients, particularly those from marginalised backgrounds. This could take the form of paraphrasing what clients say to demonstrate understanding, validating feelings and empathising. Cultural Competence Training : Ongoing education in cultural humility empowers therapists to connect with clients on a deeper level. Research indicates that training can lead to a 45% increase in therapist-client rapport. Open Conversations : Creating an environment for open discussions about power and privilege can help both parties explore sensitive topics safely. A study found that nearly 70% of clients appreciate when therapists acknowledge these dynamics. By integrating these strategies, therapy can become a richer and more inclusive experience for everyone involved. Embracing Transformation Acknowledging power dynamics in psychotherapy goes beyond theoretical discussions; it is vital for fostering genuine healing. Ideally both therapists and clients play active roles in understanding and addressing power, privilege and oppression in their interactions. By approaching these conversations openly, the therapeutic relationship can evolve into a transformative experience. In doing this, psychotherapy can better cater to the diverse needs of individuals seeking support and fostering more equitable outcomes for all.

The subject of attraction often comes up in the therapy room and it is an interesting albeit complex topic to explore. In r omantic relationships, attraction is particularly nuanced because it draws on chemistry, emotional resonance, psychological needs, and cultural conditioning. Here's a breakdown of what typically makes someone attractive in a romantic  context: 1. Emotional Availability One of the strongest predictors of romantic attraction and relational longevity is: Attunement - being emotionally present, responsive, and capable of intimacy. Vulnerability - the ability to express inner thoughts and feelings in a way that invites closeness. Consistency - feeling safe and secure in the other person’s emotional presence. 2. Psychological Compatibility Romantic attraction often reflects our internal dynamics: Attachment style fit - anxious-avoidant pairings, for example, often feel electric but unstable. Familiarity with early relational patterns   - we may be drawn to those who unconsciously evoke parental or early caregiver dynamics (sometimes to heal, sometimes to repeat). Projection and idealisation  – early in romance, we may fall for who we hope  someone is. 3. Chemistry and Sexual Energy While difficult to define, "chemistry" includes: Pheromonal and biological responses   - subtle cues that trigger desire. Physical touch and body language - the way two bodies feel in proximity can be magnetic or off-putting. Energetic resonance - a felt sense of being drawn into a shared emotional/sexual field. 4. Shared Meaning and Values As attraction deepens: Life goals, ethics, and worldview  start to matter more. Shared language for love - e.g., compatible love languages, or how people express/receive care. Mutual respect and admiration - being each other's champion sustains long-term attraction. 5. Relational Dynamics Some relational traits are inherently attractive in romantic partners: Security with independence - being connected without enmeshment. Growth orientation - being interested in evolving together. Capacity for conflict and repair - the ability to navigate disagreement with empathy. 6. The Unconscious & The Archetypal In-depth approaches (like Jungian or psychodynamic models) suggest: We often fall in love with someone who carries an archetype we're seeking (e.g., the nurturer, the rebel, the muse). Romantic attraction can be an unconscious pull to integrate missing or undeveloped parts of the self (the anima/animus dynamic). Improving social skills and becoming more romantically attractive is about becoming more comfortable, authentic, and emotionally available  in how you relate to others. It's not about changing who you are - it's about bringing more of your best self into connection . Here’s a focused guide to help you build social confidence and  attract a potential date: 1. Work from the Inside Out Attraction begins with self-relationship: Build self-awareness : What are your strengths? What makes you unique? Knowing this helps you show up with grounded confidence. Challenge inner critics : If you carry beliefs like “I’m not interesting enough”  or “People won’t like me” , explore where those come from. They often block natural charisma. Develop a secure presence : Practice being at ease in your body — slow your breath, make gentle eye contact, relax your posture. People are drawn to those who feel safe in themselves. 2. Practice Conversation Like a Skill Social ease is learned through doing: Start small : Chat with a barista, ask a co-worker about their weekend, or make a passing comment in a queue. These low-stakes moments build fluency. Ask open-ended questions : “What do you enjoy doing?” or “What’s something that’s made you laugh lately?” These invite people to open up. Listen actively : People feel attracted to those who really hear them . Nod, reflect back what they say, and avoid planning your next line while they speak. 3. Use Authentic Flirting Flirting is simply expressing interest playfully and warmly: Make eye contact and smile : This signals openness and confidence. Use light teasing or humour : As long as it’s kind, shared laughter is a powerful connector. Give genuine compliments : Not just on looks - try something like, “You have a calming energy” or “I love how passionate you are about that.” 4. Be Visible and Approachable Create opportunities for connection: Join groups or events  that align with your interests - classes, clubs, workshops. Repeated exposure builds rapport. Watch your body language : Uncross your arms, turn toward people, and show interest. These cues make it easier for others to engage with you. Put yourself out there : Whether online dating or in-person, showing up is 90% of it. It’s okay to be nervous - courage is attractive. 5. Handle Rejection Gracefully This is where real growth happens: Don’t personalise it : Attraction is subjective. If someone doesn’t click with you, it’s about fit , not worth . Reflect and learn : Was there anything you’d like to do differently next time? If not, great - keep going. Keep showing up : Building social and romantic confidence is a numbers game and  an emotional journey. Inner Work That Attracts Cultivate passion : People are drawn to those who have interests and light up from within. Explore your attachment style : Knowing how you bond (anxious, avoidant, secure, etc.) helps you create healthier connections. Therapy or coaching : If social anxiety or self-doubt holds you back, a relational space can help shift deeper patterns.