I frequently suggest journalling as a way of recording feelings, drawing out thoughts and keeping a log of personal development activities. It can be as simple or as complicated as you like. It doesn't have to be done daily, can involve coloured pens or pencils, pictures or photos. It can be themed or just focussed on the moment. It can help with emptying the mind before sleep and a record of dreams. There are so many ideas for journals on YouTube. I have investigated 'bullet journals' but they seem a little complicated - perhaps I just haven't found a straightforward bullet journal idea yet. Let me know if you do! So what to start with? How about 3 good things in each day? What are you grateful for? Look for small things that have given you joy. Today I am grateful for the NHS for picking up a health concern, the bright crisp winter sunshine this morning and wearing my new stripy jumper. What are you grateful for?

Bessel van der Kolk is a Boston-based psychiatrist noted for his research in the area of post-traumatic stress since the 1970s. His work focuses on the interaction of attachment, neurobiology and developmental aspects of trauma’s effects on people. His major publication, the New York Times bestseller 'The Body Keeps the Score', talks about how the role of trauma in psychiatric illness has changed over the past 20 years, what we have learned about the ways the brain is shaped by traumatic experiences, how traumatic stress is a response of the entire body and how that knowledge is beginning to be integrated into psychotherapy.

I was shown this powerful Ted Med talk today as part of training on working with trauma. It's true to say, childhood trauma isn’t something you just get over as you grow up. Paediatrician Nadine Burke Harris explains that the repeated stress of abuse, neglect and parents struggling with mental health or substance abuse issues has real, tangible effects on the development of the brain. This unfolds across a lifetime, to the point where those who’ve experienced high levels of trauma are at triple the risk for heart disease and lung cancer. An impassioned plea for paediatric medicine to confront the prevention and treatment of trauma, head-on.

Ex-Disney animator Gary Andrews' beautiful animation 'The Doodle Diaries' illustrates what family life is like since the loss of his wife Joy. The One Show | BBC Every night, without fail, children's TV animation director Gary Andrews captures a poignant moment from family life with exquisite sketches in his 'Doodle Diary'. Hand-drawn in pen, they feature charming cartoon caricatures of himself, his wife Joy and his two young children, Lily, ten, and seven-year-old Ben. When Gary first started his Doodle Diaries three years ago on his 54th birthday, he was a happily married family man whose drawings were infused with humour and delight at his good fortune. Today, they tell a very different story. For the past six months they've charted his harrowing journey as a widowed, single dad struggling to fill the gap left by his wife's sudden death.

There are few experiences in life that are as encompassing as grief. While everyone grieves differently, anyone who has suffered a profound loss knows grief’s impact. For many of us, grief is often felt physically and can sit anywhere in our body. It is not uncommon to become unwell following a loss or to experience sleep or dietary issues. Grief can bring a heaviness which makes exercise difficult to continue. Returning to work following a loss can provide helpful structure, but it also has its challenges. Grief tends to leave us in a fog where it is difficult to focus, stay organised, plus manage time and deadlines – all occupational risks. It is often hard to concentrate and it is easy to lose your intellectual spark during grief. The things that used to bring pleasure and interest, no longer do. Many find strength in their spiritual life following a loss, while others may begin to existential question. Deep loss can force us to reassess the assumptions we have about God or how the world works. Unfortunately grief often is felt socially as well. Social support is the number one protective factor following a loss, yet grief can also be extremely isolating. Some friends may not be comfortable with our grief and shy away, causing secondary losses as well. Grief is frequently felt emotionally, perhaps in the form of fear, guilt, anger, loneliness and anxiety in addition to sadness. This is all normal. Go with your grieving. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

Counselling and therapy is often about developing our self-awareness but how easy is it to do this? Self-awareness has countless proven benefits - stronger relationships, higher performance, more effective leadership. Sounds pretty great, right? Here’s the bad news: 95% of people think that they’re self-aware, but only 10-15% actually are! Luckily, Tasha Eurich has a simple solution that will instantly improve your self-awareness. As a third-generation entrepreneur, Dr. Tasha Eurich was born with a passion for business, pairing her scientific savvy in human behaviour with a practical approach to solving business challenges. As an organisational psychologist, she’s helped thousands of leaders improve their effectiveness, from Fortune 500 executives to early-stage entrepreneurs. Her new book, Insight, reveals the findings of her three-year research programme on self-awareness, which she calls the meta-skill of the 21st century.

Self-awareness is an awareness of the self and it is the self which makes our identity unique, including our thoughts, experiences and abilities. An example of self-awareness would be our ability to reflect on our identities or our personalities, such as knowing what makes our experience different from someone else’s experience. Recognising this difference is a key part of self-awareness. Self-awareness allows us to know what our limitations are and to make choices based on our capabilities. Self-reflection, insight and mindfulness are aspects of self-awareness which can lead to benefits such as becoming a more accepting person. Mindfulness, too, can support us in developing our self-awareness as we draw attention to our thoughts and our bodies in the present in an accepting and non judgemental way. As for self-awareness, it seems to be important to self-reflect without brooding about one’s negative thoughts, memories and traits.

How do you manage your time? Some of us are very time orientated, highly organised and focussed on striving forward and possibly missing the beauty of the present and then there are those of us who go with the flow, never worry too much about punctuality and have a much more spontaneous approach to how we manage our day who may miss out on planned experiences with others. Time is a gift. It is precious. Once a moment has passed, it can never be recovered. It will forever remain a part of our history, indelibly written in our past, unchangeable. If we have missed out on an opportunity to share love with someone or glimpse the beauty of the world then maybe we have lost something precious. So waste your time wisely! Rest may give us the energy to appreciate each day as it comes. Sharing the little things can bring great joy and stopping to "smell the roses" helps us to enjoy the present.

"Your time is limited. So don't waste it living someone else's life" - Steve Jobs Many things can block or sabotage our success - more often than not, fear! So what can we do to help ourselves and live our own life?

Often attributed to Oscar Wilde but no real evidence, this is one of my favourite quotations. It reminds me that it is okay to be me. It's okay to walk my own path. If I am feeling unhappy most of the time or aware I am judging other people or not relaxed in other people's company then I may not be content with who I am. If I am frequently seeking the approval of others and not valuing myself then again, who am I trying to be? Am I adapting my behaviour to become more acceptable to others? All this negativity takes a lot of energy as we second guess and make assumptions. Isn't it easier to be ourselves? Are we not loveable as our true authentic self? If we struggle to like, let alone love, ourselves, can we really expect others to love and accept us? Winnicott posed that children thrive best with the 'good enough' parent who loves and accepts them unconditionally for who they are therefore we too can be loved and accepted as the unique person that we are.

A good life is one in which we feel safe enough to show our 'true self' and do not mind too much occasionally having to wear the mask of a 'false self.' For this to be possible, however, we need a certain sort of childhood - as British psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott helped to explain in his theory of the true and the false self, outlined here. The false self is the "you" that you have projected into society, the "you" who interacts with the expectations you perceive others having of you. The false self has adapted in order to thrive. This encompasses the doubts, inhibitions and complacencies you have adopted to integrate into the society you want to be a part of. Most people would probably fall somewhere between their true self and a wholly adapted false self. You act how you want, within the boundaries that are necessary for you to be a part of society. The true self sets your self-identity and helps establish what you want from society, while the false self enables you to compromise and accept others in society even though their motives and morals may conflict with yours. FURTHER READING “One of the most surprising but powerful explanations for why we may, as adults, be in trouble mentally is that we were, in our earliest years, denied the opportunity to be fully ourselves, that is, we were not allowed to be wilful and difficult, we could not be as demanding, aggressive, intolerant, and unrestrictedly selfish as we needed to be. Because our caregivers were preoccupied or fragile, we had to be preternaturally attuned to their demands, sensing that we had to comply in order to be loved and tolerated; we had to be false before we had the chance to feel properly alive. And as a result, many years later, without quite understanding the process, we risk feeling unanchored, inwardly dead and somehow not entirely present…” You can read more on this and other subjects on The School of Life's blog.

Living with someone with OCD can be immensely stressful. Living with OCD can also be exhausting so what can you do? First step could be: 1. Get informed - find out a much as you can from a registered mental health professional such as a counsellor or psychotherapist, reputable websites and charities like OCD-UK. 2. Get help - consult your professional! 3. Get support - share with those you trust and will understand. 4. Get involved - understand how treatments work. 5. Be honest - talking to a third party can be helpful as they are not personally involved.