Welcome Your Visitors
Feelings have the power to affect us emotionally. We can learn to live without getting affected by every feeling which visits us. Feelings and experiences are part of life, they keep on coming and going, so reflect on them. They are there to guide us. Be open to them for they will pass. So, what to do when a big feeling hits:
1. Don’t do anything.
It may seem counterproductive. We’ve become so used to the idea that we need to find a solution. Though problem solving may work in many areas of our life, it rarely does with feelings. Often just doing the very opposite can have a positive effect. Allow natural processes to take over. When we start to feel sad or angry, for example, stay with those feelings. It's a big ask because it’s difficult. It’s also important. What does this actually look like? Focus on the feeling. We can breathe into the feeling, let it come into our bodies, and give it permission to be there, without interfering with it. Take morning anxiety as an example, when we feel anxious, we may try and convince ourselves to feel okay, or try to anxiously search for a reason for its appearance, both of these activities only increase our anxiety. Alternatively, acknowledge and hold the anxiety (or whatever feeling we are experiencing) gently in your awareness. This is not the same as thinking about the feeling. We are trying to feel the feeling. We will probably feel very uncomfortable doing this. However, the work is about bearing that feeling for as long as we can. When we give our feelings space and awareness they generally soon pass.
2. Do not attach your self worth to being ‘okay’ or coping with life.
We often think that if we feel upset, devastated or sad then there is something wrong with us. That we’re failing. On the contrary, our ability to be impacted by our life, to feel sad when sad things happen shows that we are coping with life. Feelings are feelings. Nothing more. Nothing less. They are guests passing through.